Category Archives: mom
Today marks my 36th year on Earth.
As I reflect on all my years, I’d like to share some of my fondest memories.
As a child, I would look forward to my mom coming home from from school with my cake. Her assistant, Doris, baked my cakes every year. I was always so excited to see how it was decorated. My favorite had a carousel on it.
One year, my sister Beth took me to my first Laker game. That was cool because I got to share that with my mom. One of bucket list items was to see a Laker game!
When I turned 30, Edgar and my staff at OP threw me a party at the Rumba Room. We did it UP; limo, VIP. Bottle service, the whole nine. Good times.
Oh yea, one time when I was still pretty young…maybe 3 or 4. We went to our FAVORITE Mexican restaurant for my birthday. They sang Las Mañanitas to me. I cried and hid under the table. I didn’t understand what and why they were singing to me. I still don’t like to be the center of attention. LOL
Now my birthdays are pretty low key but memories are still made nonetheless. Here’s to many more healthy and memorable born days!!
Tonight, watching Parenthood, something struck me. One of the Moms was diagnosed with breast cancer. It showed her trying to be strong for her family, for her kids, and for herself. But behind closed doors, she was a mess.
I can only think of my mom. When I was born, her whole world was turned upside down. She relied on everyone to take care of me. I can only IMAGINE her pain. Her emotional pain, along with the physical pain that goes along with cancer and radiation. Did she have someone to turn to? A rock? Who helped her get through that tough time? I don’t know any of the answers, but I know she beat that fucking cancer.
Not only to have to go through it ALL over again. But this time, not ever being diagnosed. I know in my heart that she lived with cancer and KNEW it. She didn’t want anyone to know. Why? Because she couldn’t fight anymore? Because she “lived long enough”? What were the reasons? What a hard thing to live with and not reach out for help. Just to live in pain.
I miss her so much and sometimes I wish that she did have more fight in her. But who am I to judge? I’m just a girl, who misses her mom and wishes she had one more day, or week or hour.
I hope that cancer never affects my family again. But if it does, I promise to be all I can for that person.
Today, the seven year anniversary of heaven gaining an angel, I embark on a new adventure. Mary Jane always instilled life long learning in all of the children she came in contact with, even her own.
Over 2 years ago, C and I tried to reproduce one of his family’s old recipes. Needless to say, I ruined it. I was crushed. Other than a few box or pre-made mixes, I have NOT baked since then. I was mortified to dust my apron off and try again.
Until last week, that is. I was watching an ep of Dr. Oz with Rachel Ray. She shared a similar story, but she didn’t bake again for near 30 years. After her hiatus, she started off slow and got back into it. If the 30 minute meal guru can do it, why can’t I?
For Christmas, C got me a stand mixer. He knew I wanted to conquer this fear. Best gift ever. I love that guy. A great material gift, but it MEANS so much more.
So, in honor of the best mom in the world, I break the seal on that enormous box and conquer that intimidation. I chose an oatmeal butterscotch cookie. They came out ok, with room for improvement. I am not feeling down, that I did not knock it out of the park. I will try again and keep practicing.
The mudder would be so proud. I did not shed one tear today. Several people shared their memories of her. This helped to keep me in great spirits. I continue to keep her in my heart and know that she is always with me. She “shows” herself quite often as a reminder…
After talking to a friend that I haven’t heard from in a while, I got this text…
“Your momma raised a wonderful woman! She’s with you Katy, always remember that. I’m glad you were brought in to our lives 🙂 You are good people!”
Of course, I instantly burst into tears. But it did made me feel good. I miss you, Mom. Merry Christmas, hope you and Chick Hearn are sending our boys good vibes!!
Every year, it’s hard to tell how I will embrace the Holiday Season. When you lose a loved one during or near a special day, it is sometimes harder to enjoy that time of year.
Most of you know, I lost my mom around Christmas in 2004. It came quite suddenly. How can anyone prepare to lose a parent anyway?
This season, I have not been as melancholy as other times. So far, I have been finding ways to include her memories and keep it happy. Jenn found me the perfect bedazzled, spawkly hummingbird. It is so beautiful! Every year, starting today, it will be the first thing I put on my tree! Starting new traditions and remembering old ones is the key for me to stay in the spirit!!
What ways do you catch the spirit? Have any traditions that you’d like to share?
Do you believe in angels? Have you ever have a loved one that has passed away, come back and make their presence known? Are you open to it!?
Since my mom has passed, she has made her presence known quite often.
Tonight, C and I were at Lola’s (Mexican restaurant) by the house. We were talking about my mom and her love for Mexican food. As we were talking, a Cranberries song came on. Coincidence? No, I don’t believe it was. I immediately got goosebumps and tears in my eyes.
She hated my love for hip hop. When I use to run her around on errands, she always asked me to play the Cranberries!! I’d always oblige…
I know you are always with me mom!! Thank you for making your presence known!! I miss you…
Our evening walk meant a lot more to me tonight…
A very bright, full moon shone down on me. I’ve seen several full moons in passing months but this one just struck me a certain way.
As a toddler, I would wake up during the night requesting the moon! “Moooooon, mooooon, moooon!” My mom would rescue me from my crib and take me to a window with a view so that I could see MY moon. After gazing at it’s beauty and wonder, my mom would return me to my slumber to finish my night’s sleep.
Tonight, I will have a peaceful sleep with all the happy memories of the best mom a child could ask for…
A friend asked me if they could borrow my Big Top Cupcake mold over the weekend. Every morning, I forget to take it to work with me.
She reminded me again today! How will I remember to take it to work!? Of course…you put a paper clip on the hem of your shirt or sleeve. When you get home and take tour clothes off, you will see it and remember to get it ready! Right?
That’s what MJ would do!! Several times a week, she would come home from school with a paper clip SOMEWHERE on her clothes. I’d ALWAYS ask her what she needed to remember! Worked every time.
Hope I don’t forget it in the morning, AGAIN!
“Ho ho ho and a hahhahhahah, that’s how we laugh the day away in the merry old Land of Oz….”
So, SoleLo over at Culture Confusion is doing the Throwback Friday…
I intercept a bbm alert that my fave movie, The Wizard of Oz is on!!! Oh boy, what memories that brings back!! MJ used to let us “camp out” in the living room; blankies, sleeping bags, pillows and POPCORN!!
I miss the good ol’ days!!
This is the extent of my Christmas decorations this year, so far!! Lights around my apartment door and a wreath on the screen!!
I never know where my spirit will be or if I will even catch it!! There’s still time left, maybe there’s hope for me!
I now know why my mom never was very jolly during Christmas Time! She put on a show for us! She too, lost her father near Christmas. With the 6th year anniversary of her passing quickly approaching, I find myself somber and mellow on some days and just plain old me on others! Call it moody, I call it missing and remembering my mom!
Merry Christmas, I hope you have caught the spirit by now!