Sometimes I feel like I have so much going on, that I cannot take anymore. The hardest part for me is juggling it all. I cannot solve all the problems/issues/concerns that I have…so how do I “jus deal”?

Last night, I took some time to myself to try and get my mind off of everything. I went shopping for some much needed new clothes. I also came upon a puppy store. I stayed in there for quite a long time, just staring at their little faces. I wanted to walk outta there with a puppy sooooo bad. Oh well, maybe next time. My shopping excursion helped for the most part, but it doesn’t make anything go away. It just suppressed all the issues for the time being.

After talking to Jabari about it today, all I can do is change what I can and “deal” with the rest. One major stressor to me is my job. I have not made any changes for several reasons; I am comfortable in my position (not with the circumstances), I need a stable position because I have too many financial responsibilities now, if I do look or find a new position; it has to be for the same salary or more. I cannot take a pay cut. The whole idea of changing jobs after 7 years is kinda scary too. I dunno, I’m conflicted.

With the house. It seems if we have lost momentum with our DIY’r attitude. There’s still a lot to be done and we haven’t done any work ourselves for maybe 2 weeks. The contractors are making progress. But we have to keep up so that we can get in there and make it livable. This paying rent and a house note is not cool at all. The money aspect of the whole thing is a whole other stressor. If we would have known about the faulty wiring and old pipes at the time of the inspection, would we have continued to buy that house? The inspector did not tell us those major things.

One last emotional stressor. MOTHER’S DAY. Everywhere I turn, I’m seeing gift ideas for Mother’s Day, flowers for Mother’s Day, Dinner ideas for Mother’s Day….grrrrrr! I just feel like an emotional wreck! I’m sure it doesn’t help that I haven’t been taking my synthroid for several weeks. I just got lazy and stopped taking it. I’m feeling the effects now; constant sleepiness, emotional wreck, eating all the time. It has more major effects but, I haven’t seen any of those. But I did start taking it Monday morning. So, I’m back on the routine.

In a nutshell…I’ve been through worse and I can make it through this.


About slaintelbc

not your average white chick...

Posted on May 11, 2007, in venting. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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